HELAKU'S GALLERY

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HELAKU'S GALLERY

Postby Helaku on Thu Jun 11, 2009 7:14 pm

Helaku's Literature Gallery

Love inspires
puts my heart on multiple fires
and like unflattable tires
she binds me to her w/o wires

love is great
like our date
im telling u m8
all along she was the bait

love is power
like a tower
but it doesnt corrupt
makes our best selves errupt
helps us stand still
on all life downs stay chill
and u dont need a pill

love is like ice
slippery as gambling dice
nutritious as rice
so sweet,so nice...

Tell me sweet lies
bind me to urself w/o ties
and when I kiss your lips
let ur toungue rips
while holding your hips
hold me tight,that it grips
u'll witness magical trips...

I love her with all my heart,and im passing witi EXCELLENT grades(3 C's and all STRAIGHT A's)
fried proccessor and new PC is not sth thats romantic so it'll wait till summer ends!Btw,rate mah poem on a 1-10 scale!
Imaginez une forme. Pas comme les autres. Une forme qui peut influencer toutes les autres formes. Une forme qui peut changer de forme à une autre. Imaginez vous en êtes propriétaire. Ouvrez vos yeux.
:-)
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Re: Love

Postby Kain on Thu Jun 11, 2009 7:58 pm

not that good at rating poems but I liked it...so I give it a 7 1/2
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Re: Love

Postby Magyk on Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:27 pm

yeah, i don't really know much about poems... but i like the rhymey ones, so this was good =P
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Re: Love

Postby Helaku on Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:47 am

wafflz,pls 2 suck a big fat dick for me,pls.You shouldn't even visit "fine arts" section.Finest thing you achieved in life was probably that a girl missed you by a 100 yard range.GG,jka-addict. :D :P :mrgreen:
I'm in a computer class,so I check forums,as I said.
To everyone else,thanks for comments.I appreciate it. :D
I will put more when I make more stuff like this.
I have 20 poems,but they are all in serbian :/

Byeee!!! 8-)
Imaginez une forme. Pas comme les autres. Une forme qui peut influencer toutes les autres formes. Une forme qui peut changer de forme à une autre. Imaginez vous en êtes propriétaire. Ouvrez vos yeux.
:-)
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Re: Love

Postby GUARD!AN on Fri Jun 12, 2009 2:10 am

Poetry was never really my thing,, but good stuff Helaku!
GUARD!AN

–noun
1. guarding; protecting: a guardian deity.
2. a violent, tropical, cyclonic storm of the western North Atlantic, having wind
speeds of or in excess of 72 mph (32 m/sec).
3. (in Gnosticism) one of a class of powers or beings conceived as emanating
from the Supreme Being and performing various functions in the operations of
the universe.
4. a terrifying dream in which the dreamer experiences feelings of helplessness,
extreme anxiety, sorrow, etc.
5. The sensation and muscular spasm caused by an electric current passing
through the body or a body part.
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Re: Love

Postby Duo on Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:23 am

First off, let me get this out of the way: I actually like poetry. Probably more than anyone here. I tried to be open-minded when I saw this. But your stuff is pretty weak. For example:
love is like ice
slippery as gambling dice
nutritious as rice
so sweet,so nice...

I mean, that doesn't really make any sense. Ice is more slippery than dice...but you said slippery as dice..? Also, when dice leave your hand it's because you voluntarily threw them, not because it slipped out of your hand. If dice accidentally slip out of your hand you've been jerking off too much. You're just using rhymes just for the hell of it. It sounds like a white kid rapping. It would be like if I wrote,
pooh and tigger
ran over a wookiee

And the next two lines have nothing to do with the first two(if the first two had anything to do with in the first place.)

You might have some concepts in your head, but your writing is just all over the place and your rhymes are just random as hell. Rhyming well is hard - try some free verse. And try not to wander so much - get an idea and stick to it.
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Re: Love

Postby Magyk on Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:52 pm

Midgets are short,
Midgets are small,
If I could
I would kill them all.






Poetry IS fun.

By the way Duo, yer sig is hilarious.
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Re: Love

Postby Helaku on Fri Jun 12, 2009 4:43 pm

Duo,I was hoping 4 a wookiee free post.
Hope failed me has.
Love is ice=its hard to love the right way.Its hard to keep ur balance on ice.
Slippery as dice.U can easily loose ur loved 1
(love) feeds u fast like when u eat rice(asia sub 4 bread
(love/being in love) is so sweet,so nice...
Learn to do a better poem analysis if u charish poetry so much.Thx 4 a post w/o swear words. :D :P :lol:
Imaginez une forme. Pas comme les autres. Une forme qui peut influencer toutes les autres formes. Une forme qui peut changer de forme à une autre. Imaginez vous en êtes propriétaire. Ouvrez vos yeux.
:-)
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Re: Love

Postby Sakke on Fri Jun 12, 2009 5:54 pm

Well English is not your first language so I guess it's a good try. Let me give you a piece of advice though; in English you put a space after a comma, like that,not like that. :) I don't know how you do in serbia but that's besides the point.

Another thing I don't know how you do in serbia is analyzing. But I was thought a thing or two in Danish. What you did was to add text to your lines and explain the implicit meaning (lack of words). What Duo did was actually an analysis somewhat similar to how I learned to analyse (method-wise).


Let me try to analyse another thing than this poem. Let's take the conversation in this topic between certain people.

1. Wafflz. Talking in an annoying tone, a tone similar to the one I'd yews to piss of my little brother. On the other hand he didn't insult you.

2. Helaku.
wafflz,pls 2 suck a big fat dick for me,pls.You shouldn't even visit "fine arts" section.Finest thing you achieved in life was probably that a girl missed you by a 100 yard range.GG,jka-addict.

That's when the insulting started. This is definitely not in the same category as Wafflz' post. You jump to conclusions regarding his life. I'm taking a wild guess that you've never meet wafflz in your life and jumping to the conclusion that you cannot talk about his life like that. I'm talking another guess that you're enjoying the so called protection from tensor. Objection, speculations. Withdrawn.

3. Duo. Duo sticks to the topic. He only talks about the work and not the maker, except that he gives you a piece of advice at the end again based on arguements. Quite obviously Duo doesn't like this poem very much, but he keeps a clean tone.

4. Helaku.
Duo,I was hoping 4 a wookiee free post.
Hope failed me has.

Here we go again. I don't know if Helaku's Yoda-like talk (Yoda as in the movie) is a hint that he's joking, but normally I'd expect to find a :P smiley if a person is joking. Especially from someone who uses smileys that excessively (sp). The rest of the post is a analysis-reply ind a neutral tone except for the last line which is in a not-so-kind tone.

Summary:
Wafflz: Not swearing, not bitching, not kind.
Duo: Presenting his point using arguements in a short analysis-like post. No swearing, no bitching.
Helaku: Swearing, bitching, making assumptions on people's RL.
Everyone else: Not mentioned in this brief analysis.

-Sakke
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Bob: The Danes aren't a major world power, don't particularly hate us to the extent of suicide bombers, and provide no major benefit; therefore we don't pay them much attention.
Kerafym: Did Yoda just try to make fun of my grammar?
wat?
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Re: Love

Postby Duo on Fri Jun 12, 2009 6:12 pm

Helaku wrote:Learn to do a better poem analysis if u charish poetry so much.

Suck my balls. I was only scratching the surface, don't take what I said as my attempt to carefully analyze the poem. I kind of skimmed through it actually. How old are you again Yoda?
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